✶ Transformational Travel ✶ Yoga ✶ Art ✶ Wise Counsel ✶
I don’t know who may be looking at this website, but it is about to change. I considered getting a new website, but this website uses my name, and I must reclaim my name again. I must also have the courage to allow change to happen, as many times as it needs to, in order to move closer to myself. This website allowed me to help others get closer to themselves, and now, it’s my turn.
A few months ago I did what I have helped many of my clients do. I asked the big question, If money were not an obstacle, what would you do? This isn’t the first time I’ve asked this question. I would travel the world. A moment later I heard the same familiar answer, but money IS an obstacle, Keri. I proceeded to move through the old pattern of feeling my chest begin to cave from the mixture of sadness and great longing, followed by the turning away. Luckily this time, I catch myself. I recognize my fear of looking at this deep desire. Fortunately, I’ve learned that when I consciously notice a fear, I must lean toward it. So I lean. I lean in awe and great curiosity at the story of limitation I’ve created and my years of turning away. Is money really the obstacle here? Or is it my fear? What if it’s true, as I read on that travel blog, that travel is simply a choice? If it’s my fear, what am I afraid of? Images of everything I’ve built fly through my mind and I feel terrified. Terrified to start over. Terrified to lose what I’ve worked so hard for. Terrified to be seen as someone who doesn’t stay with something. Terrified of what I know I must do.
I realize that the ultimate dream for me would be to see as much of the world as I can before I die. I realize that I have limited time on this planet and so I better get on with it. I feel grateful that I’ve been lucky enough to have seen some of the world so far, and yet, every time I go on one of those two week trips I wonder, why can’t I just keep going? Why does it have to end here? And though there can be the comforts that come along with the returning, why does it feel so painful to return? And why has continuing felt so out of reach, like something only other people do? I realize I’ve been setting up my career for so long to reach the magical place of independence that will allow me to travel. I see the illusion in this and realize I’ve got it all wrong. I can’t keep waiting for the one day when everything is perfectly aligned so my travels can begin. I can’t keep waiting to plan those same short trips where I return rather than continue. If I am going to live the life I’ve truly dreamed of, then I must spend time on this beautiful planet doing what truly makes me feel alive. I must have the courage to sacrifice the person I have been for the person I will become. I must make travel my life.
“I must have the courage to sacrifice the person I have been
for the person I will become.”
I am writing this post from a bungalow in North Bali, my sweetheart on the floor next to me, two weeks and three countries into our journey across the world. I am so thankful to love a man with the same dream. We’ve sold almost everything we own and continue to marvel at the simplicity of our backpacks and the beauty of what we’ve done. Yes. We did it.
We have no idea where this will take us. We have so much joy in our hearts.
Pura Lempuyang, Bali, Indonesia
image by Greg Pitters